


Carmilla (Chuck AU)

by hotnuggetz



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Chuck - Fandom
Genre: Awkward!Carmilla, Chuck AU, F/F, F/M, Laura / Carmilla Endgame, Spies, Tough!Laura
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 18:58:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5217047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotnuggetz/pseuds/hotnuggetz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Computer geek Carmilla Karnstien becomes the government's most vital spy after unwittingly downloading sensitive, top-secret data into her brain. Next thing she knows her life is full of spies, missions and one incredibly amazing agent named Laura. </p><p>(In which I transported the Carmilla cast of characters into the plot of the tv show "Chuck"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carmilla (Chuck AU)

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters will be pretty long seeing as I'm doing it by episode. I've tried to cut un-needed little bits out or to paraphrase somethings but... Yeah. Long chapters. 
> 
> I hope to post a new chapter every week. 
> 
> If you don't know what "Chuck" is then I suggest you watch it on Netflix because it's a really good show. 
> 
> Everything is edited by me so there are probably some mistakes. 
> 
> I also changed the location to Canada. Instead of the CIA you have the CIU (Canada Intelliance Unit) and the NCB (Candian National Bureau). These are made up of course.
> 
> The first chapter is taken directly from the script (with the changes of names, places, etc.) but after that I plan to be more free with it and just watch the episode and write from that. 
> 
> Both Chuck and Carmilla and the characters / plots are not mine, of course. 
> 
> Thanks!

The room is dark, fumbling hands are screwing things together and tying a rope together, lacing up gloves.

"Laf this is a bad idea." My voice rings out. 

"Well we can't say here Carm." They respond. I fiddle with the flashlight in my hand. 

"I'm uncomfortable with the plan." I look away, it is uncomfortable - how Laf thinks this will work is beyond me. 

"Plan? What plan? This is survival." That's true, it does feel like survival, survival through this dumb night.

We're in my room, well Laf is half out the window by now. There's footsteps and we both freeze. 

Oh shit.

"That's her. We've been compromised! I'm a ghost." 

I'm a little frantic now. "Laf you can't do this to me, pal!" I'm feeling my heart beat rise steadily as my door opens. 

Mattie turns on the lights, she looks annoyed to say the least and I know its my fault. "Carmilla, what are you doing? 

"Ah, ah, escaping." I'm stuttering a little, oh how I hate stuttering in front of her like some child.

Laf is struggling to gain sure footing out the window

"From your own birthday party?" Her tone is very condescending.

"Hey, Mattie!" Laf says happily. I roll my eyes, oh not now Laf! I can see my sister sigh. "Wow, you look fantastic! 

I quickly reply before Mattie can: "Ah, you know, sis, the thing is, Laf and I don't really feel like we're fitting in at my birthday party 'cause we don't know anybody 'cause they're all your friends and they all happen to be board members." I explain although I know it won't help any. 

"Board members who don't even get our jokes."

"Well, your jokes." I mutter. They sigh.

"Okay, my jokes."

"Carmilla, I have invited real live women. For you. So please. Let's go. Lafontane, you stay here." I know it's no use arguing, Mattie is more like a mother than our own mother ever is or was. I stand up, straightening myself out. 

"Need a hand, buddy?" I say. 

"No, I'm okay." They stand up, and I snicker as I realize that there was never much of a drop anyways. 

•

"Birthday gal, come with me." She's taken to dragging me through the crowd now. "You're funny, you're smart, you're attractive--"

"Hey, there's Mrs. Awesome." I say, pointing to Lola, Mattie's long term girlfriend and generally an amazing human altogether. Mattie sighs at the name.

"Don't call her that please." Lola comes bouncing up.

"Okay, I have identified candidates for Carm and they are awesome! It'll be great!" 

Four girls are waiting there and it makes me want to heave. I know that they're friends of Mattie and Lola (sometimes referred to as Perry along with Mrs. Awesome). I know that they're bright and amazing and strong. Everyone my sister knows is. 

I'm just... Ugh! I hate this. 

"Hi, Carm! I've heard so much about you! Are you in a costume?" 

I stop. "No, I work for the Nerd Herd." I know it sounds awful and stupid. 

The second girls speaks, "Nerd Herd? That is so cute! What do you really wanna do?"

Loaded question. How about anything but this? Something worth wild, something more awesome and full filling. Travel? Philosophy?"

"Well, I'm working on a five-year plan. I just need to choose a font." I wince at my own lame joke. One of the other girls notices my bandaged finger. 

"What happened here? Did you hurt your hand?"

"No, no, It's from reading. Paper cut."

I sound like the most unappealing human ever. 

"So Mattie said you went to Western before moving here." 

"Yes, that's technically correct--" I begin because it is, it's just not the full picture. 

"I graduated in '02! What was your major?" One girl asks. 

"English." I fumble out. 

"Oh my God! I knew this great girl! She was in crime as well as like a minor in English... She ran track and I think she was a gymnast too."

I groan inside my head. 

"Danny Lawerence, she was my roommate - yeah." If only she knew the full story about Danny.

"Oh, yeah, what's she doing now?"

"I think she's an high school coach." I try to think of something lame, something that would fit Danny but still be lame. 

•

[ Danny Lawerence - not a high school coach ]

I fall to the floor, I'm sweaty and I'm rough shape, I'm bleeding from the brow and my shirt is covered in blood. I quickly spot the computer and start to work away. 

"Intersect Computer - for Authorized Personal Only"

Yeah frickin' right, I didn't go through all this just to let that stop me. I'm on a mission. I tinker away some more and finally let a small grin escape. "Time to say goodbye." I whisper. 

My finger presses the return bottom and soon the white room I'm in swims with images. 

I hear an automated voice: "Security breach."

•

"So, do you have a girlfriend?"

I'm down to chatting with one girl, whom still hasn't offered me her name. That's how I'm guessing that this isn't going very far. I mean if she really did have an interest she'd give me her name right? 

"I did. Awhile back. At Western. Her name was Ell. We met freshmen year. "

"Oh, that was awhile back."

I don't stop, to lost in my own story to care much. "I remember when I met Ell. It was at an economics class. I was walking across the quad, and she dropped her bag and I was, you know, rushing to go and pick it up for her and, uh, it was, like you know, a cartoon, we bumped heads and this whole gang - Ell, Danny - we had so much in common then --"

Before I know it I'm describing every painful detail of the whole thing. "--So there I was. Ell with Danny , me on a train home. Guess she thought she was more exciting."

I look up to see I'm alone and sigh. Not again. 

•

I feel the shot in my chest, it's painful to say the least. I see JP standing there, looking kind of smug (as usual). In all my running away (from several guards and a couple of bombs) I didn't stop to think he'd be waiting for me. 

"Don't move." He warns.

I grin. "Too late JP." I press send on my phone, which self-destructs as planned. I can feel myself land on the ground. The last thing I see before slipping into black is "Carmilla" appear on my phone. 

Good. 

•

"Thanks for my party. Your seven-layer dip?" I clink my bottle with Mattie's. "Tasted like eight." She takes a seat beside me, letting out a small laugh. 

"Carm, can I tell you something?"

Oh great, here comes a lecture. 

"It really was eight layers." I try to joke.

"Even though we may ask, no woman really wants to hear about an old girlfriend. It's depressing, okay? Western was five years ago. You need to move on. It's time--"

There it is. 

"Do we really need to have this conversation again?" I ask.

"We've rehearsed it enough."

"Right. Well, I'll get over Ell tomorrow - I promise." 

I get up and head towards Laf.   
"Hey there. Seems like it was a really good time, huh? I know I did. Super." We walk to my room where Laf sits and plays video games. "You talked to some women. It's a start." My computer beeps and Laf stops. "Wow. Blast from the past wow. Danny remembered your birthday, dude."

I look over in shock, what?!

"What?" I repeat.

"Girl gets you kicked out of school. Steals your girl, remember?" I wince, yeah I remember. I slowly walk towards it.

"Yeah, Laf, I think I remember Danny."

"Right. Well, what do we got here?"

It's an email, there's an attachment labelled "Stanford.zrk". I open it and the words "The terrible troll raises his sword" flash across. 

"What is it?"

I smile. "Zork. You remember Zork? The old text-based video game? Well, Danny and I programmed our own version of it back at Western using the TRS80."

"C'mon, that's really cool."

I let my smile grow, those were the good days. "Yeah, if I can only remember what was in my hero satchel." Laf gives me a confused look. "The weapons that I would use to kill the terrible troll."

"Right, you know what? You two were still really cool." They move and I stop. 

"And you're going home?"

"It's that time."

"It's that time." I echo. I mean don't get me wrong I love them, Laf is my best pal but there is always too much Laf. I need space, especially to read this email - whatever it is.

"Right." They leave. 

Once they're gone I look back, typing: "Attack troll with nasty knife." I press return. 

Suddenly the screen is filled with fast paced images, tons of them and my head starts to spin. Although I can seem to tear my eyes away. 

I black out. 

•

"Dude. Dude! You okay?"

"Laf?" They nod, pulling me up.

"Yeah, man, yeah. It's me. What happened?"

" I was gonna ask you the same question." I admit. I look at my computer, it's like nothing happened at all. 

"You okay?"

"Did you spike the punch?"

"Something goes wrong, you blame me. After all these years, where's the trust?" I scoff as we walk towards my work issued car. "So, this morning I was playing Xbox, I'm, like, dude, just let me get this time, and I'll take care of it. Guy let me--"

Usually I put up with Laf's chatter but this morning it feels like too much. My head is pounding, everything is dizzy and occasional images from nowhere keep popping up. I groan. 

"Laf as much as I would love to talk video games with you right now I got a really splitting headache, and, you know what? Could you do me a favor? Do you wanna drive?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Are you being serious? You're gonna let me drive?" 

"It's a company car, Laf. It's not that big of a deal." Although I know that giving Laf any kind of responsibility is dangerous. 

"Whoa, whoa, it's not just a company car, okay? A Hoopty is a Hoopty, homeboy. I mean, this baby is sitting on chrome. Or plastic."

I groan. "Do me a favor and stay off the 5, okay? The cops are in a phased...deployment." I stop, what the hell. Laf looks at me, confused. 

"Okay. Thanks for the tip."

•

Aside from myself, there are three nerd herders, Kirsh, Theo and Mel. When I get there, I quickly address today's work. "Fellow nerds, today is going to be a very bad day. We've got a computer virus on our hands. They're calling this one the Irene Demova virus."

Kirsh laughs and I shake my head, annoyed.

"Yes, yes, it is named after the Serbian porn star. This is a nasty one, kids. It's a computer killer. Last night the display version of our Prism Express laptop was fried when someone-" I look at Theo, "-decided to enter Miss Demova's website and, Mel, close the eyes. And this is what happens."

Moans escape the laptop, and a female voice speaks before the computer fries. Theo looks embarrassed. "Sorry, Carm, she drives me crazy, but that's love."

I roll my eyes, focusing back on my team. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll please just ignore Theo here-" I look back to where Laf has turned on the news. I stop as the newscaster speaks: 'Los Angeles, he'll be arriving...', I let my sentence trail off. "Everything...will be...normal..." The images start to flash again. "He's already here, he landed last night." I say.

"Who's already here?" Mel asks. 

I shake out of it, looking back at Mel. "I...don't...know." I admit, feeling out of it, head still spinning.

•

"Danny Lawrence was CIU. Graham, she was one of your agents."

"And it was the NCB's job to find her. To question her, not to kill her!"

They're both standing in the rubble of the spot where Danny had tinkered with computer. 

"Thanks to Rambo here, we found nothing." Graham mutters. 

"No. We got a dead CIU agent. That's a gold star in my book." JP speaks as he steps into the light. 

"If this gets out--" Beckman begins but JP stops her: 

"It won't."

"Nobody has to--" Graham tries. 

Beckman cuts in. "Actually they do. Major JP is heading up this investigation."

JP has a smug grin on his face and Graham looks annoyed.

"So, what was Danny after? What does this computer do?"

"This computer did everything. After 9/11, the NCB and the CIU were told to play nice. In case something similar were to happen here. Share their intel. This is how we did it."

"Every scrap of data we had went into this computer. Mindful patterns and chatter. Some things we did." Graham continues. 

"The data was encrypted into thousands of images. Whoever received Danny's email got all of our secrets. Find those secrets, JP."

"Found this on Lawrence. Hard drive's fried. Picked up a trace signature."

"Where?" Beckman asks.

"Toronto. Weather's perfect, been feeling a little pasty."

•

I'm leaning against my desk, head still sore, there a phone tangled across me and Laf is leaning against the desk. "Stop the presses. Who's that? Vicky Vale!"

Without thinking I chime in: "Vicky Vale. Vicky Vicky VaIe. Vicky VaIe. Vicky Vicky--" 

I look up and drop the phone and everything else I'm holding. There in front of me is a stunning, no breathe taking, no jaw dropping woman. She's short, brownish hair, strong arms, perfect face. I gape but quickly shut my mouth. Oh god you look so gay. 

"It's a batman reference." I quickly explain. She smirks. 

"Doesn't make it any better." She pauses. "I hope I'm not interrupting." There's an incredible smile on her face. 

"No! Not at all." I quickly say. 

I see Laf studying her and they're the first to speak. "Hi, I'm Lafontaine, and this is - this is Carmilla."

"Wow, I didn't think people still name their kids Carmilla...or Lafontaine for that matter."

"My parents were sadists, and carnival freaks found them in a dumpster--

"--But they raised me as one of their own."

Wow I need better jokes. 

"How can I help you..." I sputter out.

"Laura. I'm here about this." She places a cellphone down with the battery out and things about what type and specs start floating in my head. 

"Oh yeah, the intel cell. Absolutely. This model has a little screw that pops loose right in the back here. You just give it a couple of quick turns," She's watching me, smiling and it makes me nervous, "And good as new. No problem."

She takes the phone, our hands brushing and I gulp. "Wow, you geeks are good." Her tone is teasing but I scramble. Geek? I'm not a geek.

"Nerds. Nerds. I would say more...I mean, you know, Nerd Herd." I discover half way through my attempt to make myself cooler that I'm not. She's still smiling though. 

"Excuse me, excuse me. I, uh, I have an emergency. I don't know what I did wrong, but I, uh, I shot the entire recital, and now, now it won't play back." A man says, rushing towards me. 

"Okay, okay, we'll just take a look, and," I open the tape slot, "you don't have a tape in here."

"But it's digital."

"Oh, boy." Laf says and I shoot them a look.

"Right, yes, but you still need digital tape." I look at his disappointed daughter and gulp. I feel bad...

"Oh no, oh no, Mom's gonna kill me."

I steal a look at Laura who shrugs her shoulder, I can help but bite my lip.

"Ah, Laf, I need the wall."

"It's yours." They head off. I turn to a rather surprised Laura and feel disappointment settle in. 

"I'm so sorry." I say, turning to the father. "Excuse me. This way." I lead him away, looking back at a rather surprised Laura. The daughter becomes nervous as I set up. I look down at her. "You ready? What's wrong?"

"I'm usually in the back row."

"Why?"

"I'm too tall; I block the other ballerinas."

"Can I tell you a secret? Real ballerinas are tall." She gives me a toothy grin. She performs as we film and I look over to Laura, whose still there. Other Buy More customers are watching as well. They all applaud. Once it's all said and done I turn to go back to her, to this wonderful woman but Betty stops me. Frickin' Betty of all people. 

"Carmilla!"

"Hi, Betty. Look, we'll be back up and running in five minutes."

"Five minutes? Do you know what five minutes means in Buy More dollars?"

"I didn't realize we had our own currency. Look, I'm sorry about all the commotion--"

"We're not stockboys anymore, Carmilla! We are leaders. Buy More leaders. And you wonder why Big Mike wants me for assistant manager."

"What?" When did this happen?There's an open position? Big Mike didn't tell me about that."

I feel hurt. 

"And why should he? He knows you won't leave the comfort of the Herd." She brushed brushes past me roughly, I begin to mutter as I turn back only to be crestfallen when I realize Laura is no longer there. Well there goes my chance. 

I head to Laf. "Dude!" They hold up a card. "She left you a card!"

I stare down at it! Heart pounding quickly... Maybe today wasn't that horrible after all.

•

"Why won't you call this girl?" Laf asks.

"Oh, I don't know, did you see her?" I say, fiddling with her card in my hand. 

"No way is she gay."

"Yes, oh man, yes, I did see her! Which is why I repeat the question: why won't you call this girl?" 

"Because I live in planet Earth, Laf. Why are you following me home?"

"Aw, hey, we're buddies. We're gonna do friend things, and - and - my computer is acting up on me."

I groan. "Irene Demova?"

They shrug. "So beautiful and so...deadly."

We wander into the house, flicking on the lights as we go. I push open my room, turning that light on as well. I stop. 

A literal ninja is stealing my computer and all I can think to say is: "Please, not the computer."

They put it down on my shelve and for a second I think it'll be okay, that I've caught the thief and that they'll run before I can do anything else. 

Not the case, instead they take a defensive stand as if to fight. I look at Laf, who jumps into motion and grabs a plate off my desk, thank god I finished the pizza that was on it. They fling it at the ninja who just ends up hitting it back. 

At me. 

In the stomach. I flinch, ow! Laf continues this routine and it seems that the ninja is quite happy with hitting everything at me. The candle holder (remind me not to have one in my room in future), and a flower vase that hits me in the head. "Come on, Carmilla! Do something!"

Slowly, and painfully I take a fighting stance as well. "Give me that--"

The ninja sweeps my legs from under me, kicking me to the wall. 

Why? Why is this happening? The assailant turns to Laf and I groan, great. Just great. "That's my friend!" They find a golf club and rushes forward. "Aahh!"

The ninja takes the club and Laf throws their hands up in surrender. "Actually Carm's not a good friend, just a work--"

No use, next thing they're being struck by the club in the face. Laf lands on me, in less than desirable ways. Next thing I know my shelve comes down, with the computer crushing it completely and without second thought the ninja takes their escape. 

I groan. "Didn't you hang that shelve?"

•

I'm running, the last thing I can have is either one of them catching up, although I highly doubt that they will. I get into my awaiting car, gunning it. I slip off my mask. 

"Damnit Laura, you almost had it!" I mutter to myself. 

•

I look down at Theo who slowly uncovers my destroyed computer. "I've been through it. It's fried. Dead. Its hard drive is...murdered."

"What if you're an unwitting target of a ninja vendetta and he returns tonight to strangle you with his nunchuks?" Kirsch says. 

"That's super, Kirsch. Thanks for thinking outside the box on that one. And here I thought I couldn't get any more freaked out."

He just winks and I turn away, terrified. "I think I'm gonna go buy some new locks next door at Large Mart." 

I sigh when I'm looking around and spot no one. This is why our store is better. I keep looking and finally I spot a large man in a leather jacket. I go up to him, without thinking things through. "Thank God. Excuse me, sir. Do you know where they sell--"

As he turns I begin to get the sense he's a little dangerous, suddenly when I take in his face, pictures swarm my head. His identity. Military info, images of bombs... 

"What do you want?"

"Um, um, sorry, sorry, nothing. Nothing at all. I was just, uh, wow, look at that." 

I begin to walk away, although I get the sense he's following me. I don't dare look back though. When I do I see he's holding a nail gun. His face is threatening, the whole thing is threatening and when I turn to run, a transporter of stuff blocks my path. I let out a whimper, praying it'll pass quickly and running when it does.

I bump into someone, feeling relief flood through me. "Oh, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, listen, listen. There's a guy - there's a guy here - he's, he's trying to do something - I don't know. You have to call the cops or security, the guys checking out front--"

"Uh huh. What kinda guy?" The employee asks. 

"Scary kind of Terminator vibe, stubble, red hair--"

"Black leather jacket?"

"Yes! Yes!"

The employee points to someone over my shoulder. "Like that guy?"

I turn, there he is, at the check out with that stupid nail gun. I look down, blushing and catching my breathe. The employee walks away, obviously annoyed or confused. Although when I make eye contact with him once more, he gives me a crooked grin and exposes the nail gun under his jacket. 

I walk quickly to the Buy More, hiding behind the Nerd Herd desk. --

\-- "I have eyes on him right now. Like I said, the computer was destroyed. Beyond repair.” I say, still annoyed that I was careless when getting the computer to begin with.

"Okay. It's done. I want you in the air in an hour.” Graham says, my mouth drops. What? Air in an hour? No. I had to see this through…

"But what if she has an external drive, a back-up—"

"It's over, Laura. The NCB has struck again. Danny was CIU; she was our agent, and she burned us—“ He pauses and I flinch at the sound of her name. “JP is on his way out.” I groan, of course. Of course they would hand JP the mission. "You're being recalled."

"Cause of JP?” I ask, bitterly. "He's a burnout."

"He's a killer, Laura. Old school.” I let a long breath out, I’m not happy. I hate being recalled and I hate it more because I’m being recalled because of JP. I have skills, skills they need. Better skills that JP’s shoot now, ask later way of thinking.

"I want you to listen to me.” Graham says, pulling me back. "Whatever happened with Danny, you couldn't have known.” I look out the window, I should have known. I should have stopped her or something! I feel the familiar angry hurt rise up in me. “You couldn’t have stopped it."

“But I can fix it.” I say with conviction. “If there’s a back-up, I’ll find it. Just give me 12 hours.” I press end before he tells me no, before he tells me that I don't have a choice in coming back. I have to do this, regardless.

*

"I'm losing my mind, I'm losing my mind, I'm losing my mind.” I chat, I can sense someone and a hand reaches out for the bell. I groan, grabbing it to stop it. “Laf, not now.” I stop, the hand doesn’t feel like Laf’s hand. Their hand is more… well it isn’t this hand. I feel it, grabbing it fully and stopping, suddenly letting it drop. This isn’t good conduct. I look up, mouth gaping. 

Laura.

"Hi. Hi.” I curse at how stupid I sound. "Um, phone trouble again?” I find my little screwdriver in case, although it should be fine. That trick always works.

"Uh, yeah. I'm not sure I'm able to receive calls...'cause I never got one from you.”

I hear Laf laugh from behind me and I throw them a dangerous look, they make a show of going and I finally turn back to Laura. She’s shyly playing with her hands, something that makes her look even cuter than she already does. Is cute even the right word?

Oh god Carm get your life together okay? You can’t just creepily hit on her, even if it is in your head. "I'm sorry I left so quickly yesterday. I had an appointment with a realtor. I just moved here."

“Well welcome.” I say with an awkward wave.

 

"Thanks. I, uh, don't really know anyone here. I was wondering if you could show me around.” She pauses and I know she must have seen the nervous look on my face. "That is, if you're free…” I mean girls don’t hit on me, I mean girls don’t normally just hit on girls like this. So openly. 

"Oh, she's free. She, she is, she has got nothing but time on her hands. She is very available. You guys are gonna have a great time.” Laf says quickly and I look back once again to throw them a very dangerous look. "What's that, sir? Xerox machine? Yeah, I'm on it.” They leave and I groan. 

"Apparently, my schedule's wide open.” I say nervously. 

She smiles and it makes my stomach swell. “Great!”

After Mattie throws a fit of helping me get ready, I’m finally ready to go, she had asked the standard questions: ‘Is she pretty’, ‘Is she nice’ etc. Mattie comes running out just as I’m about to leave. “Carm! Hey, so these are leftovers from the party. And, um,” She’s taken to fixing my jacket now. “don’t forget about the old girlfriend rule…”

“Got it, no mentioning Ell.”

“Aces Carm, you’re aces.”

“A dad quote, I’m impressed.” I stop. “Love you sis.” I finally say. She gives me a faint smile, one that says she’s proud of me. I take the flowers, twirling them in my hands. Okay, you can do this. You can do this. Just be your somewhat natural self. Minus a few things. 

“I love you. Have fun.”

“I will. I’ll try."

*

I’m getting in my room and I can’t believe that there are even the smallest amount of nerves crawling through me. This is just another case, another person. So what she seems nerdy and sweet, nice and… I stop. You can’t think like that. Carmilla got sent those secrets. Danny sent them for a reason. Carmella could be dangerous, she could have a plan. 

You need to figure it out. I look back at my ringing phone and pick it up. “Fill me in.” Graham says. 

“She’s picking me up for our ‘date’.” I pick up my gun, fixing it into my outfit. 

“You’re on your own on this one Laura, I can’t help you if something goes wrong.”

“I don’t know about this girl, Graham, she seems nice.” I admit.

"Nice people don't get sent government secrets…” He reminds me. I hear the knock and I slowly make my way to the door. 

“What should i do if she runs?”

“Kill her.” Graham says, tone unwavering. I gulp and click the phone shut before opening the door. She stands there in the door way with flowers in her hand. 

*

We’re in a Mexican restaurant, which has some killer nachos. She’s talking and the more I hear her talking the more I want to ignore Graham’s orders. I don’t want to kill her - so I silently pray that she won’t run when I confront her. 

I look back at her, becoming once again fully immersed in our conversation. "So, yeah, I live with my sister and her girlfriend Mrs. Awesome.” I laugh a little. 

"No…” I tease. She blushes. 

"It's true, though."

"So, wait, wait. You call her Mrs. Awesome?”

"Yeah, wait 'til you meet her.” 

I give her an honest grin, I am enjoying myself. If I wasn’t an agent, if I didn’t have to play it safe, if this had been any other circumstances, I would have been falling for her heavily.

“That's funny.”

"Well, I'm a funny gal."

"Clearly...which is good, 'cause I am not funny.” I tease. It’s true, my sense of humour could be better. 

"Is that your big secret, by the way? 'Cause I'm sitting here, trying to figure out what's wrong with you—“

I stop, oh god no, not this. It happens every time I try to do this ‘fake date’ thing. They want answers and details, details I can’t give because I’m an agent and it would be dangerous. 

“Oh plenty, believe me.” I’m trying to discourage her. 

“--And I was thinking, maybe she's a cannibal or she's really not that funny. And I was pulling for cannibal 'cause I never met one before.” I know she’s trying to be funny, or lighten the mood but it’s only making me even more nervous. 

"Uh, not a cannibal. But I just did come out of a long relationship so I may come with baggage.” 

I think about Danny.

Lots of baggage.

"Well, I could be your very own baggage handler—“ She stops and I look away, uncomfortable. “Oh god, um, I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant that I-“ She stops, blushing. “So, the ex, the guy, the ex is the reason you moved here-“

“The girl.”

“Oh I didn’t know, I mean you could be bisexual-“

“No, I’m gay.” Okay so this is true and the ex part is true. I’m not lying to her, I just can’t give her all the information. “Just gay, hence I’m here with you.” She blushes again. “What did you think when I gave you my number.”

“That maybe you needed phone help or something… usually girls don’t hit on me like that. Well I mean they don’t really hit on me period but-“ She sighs. “You were just a little straightforward and I’m not used to that. I’m sorry.” She looks away. “Anyways.. the ex, is she the reason you moved here from…"

“Ottawa. I realized that all of my friend were her friends and that everything about Ottawa reminds me of Da-Debra.” I correct quickly, taking myself back. I almost said Danny, I almost told Carmilla something personal. I can’t do that. "I needed a change, a big one.” I finish.

“Debra. Yeah. You give me crap for being 'Carmilla' and you went out with Debra?” I laugh, letting myself relax again. 

"So, what about you? What skeletons do you have in your closet? Any secrets? Any women?"

Now I’m pressing, edging finally to get some information from her. This is what I came here to do, I can’t dispute that.

"Uh, yeah, yeah. Actually, back in college, there was someone…” I raise any eyebrows, urging her to go one. “but that's all over with now. And her restraining orders are very specific.” She jokes. 

I laugh once more, “I like you Carm.” She blushes at the nickname.

*

We’re walking down the street, my head is still reeling from how perfect she is. She’s fantastic. “Where are we going?” Laura asks. 

“Do you like music?”

“I guess.” I stop. 

“You guess? What’s your favourite band?” I ask, chucking. I look at her face, she’s smiling and I hope that she’s enjoying herself. She takes a second, trying to answer but coming up short. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.” I say. She doesn’t like music? what?

She shrugs. "I am not funny, I don't listen to music. This must be your worst date ever, right.”

I’m about to tell her it’s the opposite, that I can’t believe any of this is real but I look over and soon images are floating around in my head again. Flashes of things. A general, the guy from Large Mart, bombs, pie…

"I was waiting for you to say no.” Laura’s voice breaks me out of the trance. God that’s the third time today. it’s getting worse, I’m getting worse, I’m loosing my mind. I quickly cover.

"Sorry, sorry, I kinda zoned out there for a second. No, no, no, no. God, no. I, uh, I've had, I've had much, much worse, uh, much worse dates. Experiences over all with women. In eleventh grade—"

"Eleventh grade? Oh you have to go back that far?"

" I don't date all that much.” I admit sheepishly. I open the door to a place with good music and drinks, holding it open for her. I pay for the drinks and hand her one. Making sure she sees that I didn’t do anything to it. She accepts it, takes a drink of it and smiles. “it’s good.” She shouts over the music. 

I grin. Good. She begins to look over the place and stops for a second. Suddenly she turns back to me and takes my hand. “Let’s dance!” She says, dragging me through people to the dance floor. 

“I’m not really a good dancer—“ I say but she’s dancing. Dancing close to me and my heart beat is rising to unhealthy speeds. Oh god, she’s so pretty and she maybe kinda likes you and you’re going to mess this up Carm, one way or another. 

I’m standing there, not knowing what to do.—

—JP and his men are here, of course they’re here. It was only a matter of time right? I’m watching them through the crowd and they’re watching me. I make a show of getting to my feet, withdrawing a knife from my boot and flinging it at one of the man. It catches the sleeve of his suit.

If my cover wasn’t blown already, it is now. 

I have to be careful though, there are civilians here and I can’t let them get hurt. 

Carm is still standing there, she hasn’t seemed to take in any of what just happened and I pray that I can do this carefully enough that she won’t. I can’t have her run well I’m battling off JP’s men. I remove the chop-sticks from my hair and shake it out. I aim them at two of his men, while letting my gaze remain on Carmilla. The chopsticks hit them on the leg. I drop to my feet again. I’m close to her body, it looks like dancing. She’s blushing. I know she is. I retrieve another knife and stab the last man in the stomach. 

I know JP is watching and I grab Carmilla before she can ask why on earth I just did that very awkward ‘dance’ in front of her. She still seems to have limited knowledge of my actions. She seems to be confused as to why we’re leaving. "Where's the fire?” She jokes. 

I’m too busy to laugh. "Carmilla, give me your keys.” I make my way to the drivers side.

She really has no clue, she just looks like a confused useless lesbian. "I, uh, I don't mean to be old-fashioned, but the company only wants employees - nerds - driving the Nerd Herd mobile. I mean, that's kind of, you know—“

I pick the lock, I don’t have time for this. She stands there, surprised. “Get in the car!” I say.

“How’d you get in my car?” She asks.

"Get in the car right now!” I yell, seeing the black van coming towards us. 

“Laura—“

"Just get in!” I pull at her arm now and she’s finally in the car, the door shutting firmly behind her. Her eyes are wide.

“What’s going on?” I ignore her question and put it in reverse, stepping on the gas and simultaneously looking back. I speed the car up backwards and I see Carmilla’s shoulders tense up at this dangerous act. I’m no longer looking back at as I drive, I know I’m good at this. You take a course on it but Carmilla doesn’t know that. So she’s panicking. 

“Laura, you’re not even looking! Wa - wait, wait - who are these guys? What do they want?” Suddenly JP’s car bumps ours. "Oh my God, oh my God! Oh my god! I’m going to die!” 

I have to distract her from panicking. "Listen to me, Carm, those men will hurt you. They're from the NCB, and they're after you."

"Me? Why, why, why, why me? I'm nobody. I'm a supervisor of the Nerd Herd at a Buy More. Maybe one day I'll be assistant store manager and I don't even know if I want that job! You - you know what? That's not your problem. But that is!” She motions to lights beside me, as the car beside us comes slamming into our car. 

As the chase continues when I get somewhere safe, I stop it and pull Carm out. We’re running, I’m looking back at the guard station. I need to put distance between us and JP. I see the “emergency blockade” button and a plan sparks in my head. In one swift motion I duck down, grab a knife from my boot and throw it at the button, simultaneously turning and ducking.

JP’s car crashes into the the blockade bars and satisfaction runs through me, although it’s not helping with the fact that I’m a little out of breath.

“Laura?” Her voice is filled with confusion. I look over but don’t address her. Somehow I can’t face her hurt face.

I just grab my phone. “Request emergency evac. Track location: we're on foot.” I look at the surroundings and JP’s incoming car, he must have switched, I grab her arm. “Let’s go!” 

Graham had discussed exit options before I had come down to look into Carmilla. The hellipad on the roof a hotel was an option and I lead her there as fast as I can. It should buy me a few minutes. I’m suddenly aiming questions at her, the time for subtly is over.

"How well do you know Danny Lawrence?"

"Wh - how - how do you know Danny?” Her mouth is hanging wide open, hurt dancing in her eyes. 

"We worked together at the CIU.” I say quickly.

"The what? The CIU? Danny was a spy? Danny Lawrence from Toronto was a spy?” I’m desperate and not in the mood for more questions about Danny.

"A rogue spy! Did she try to contact you?” I ask.

“I haven't heard from Danny in the - “ She stops. “Wait, wait. She - she sent - she sent me an email.”

Bingo.

"Did you open it?"

"Yeah. It was - it was, uh, a line from Zork—“ 

I groan, of course she had to go and open it. At least she’s being pretty open, or at least she seems to be. 

“What?”

"Zork. It's, uh, it's a video game that we used to play. There was a riddle and I solved it and, uh, pictures. Lots and lots of pictures.” I stop, she saw them? She saw all the photos… all of the secrets of the country.

"You saw them? Your computer - did you back it up? Is there an external drive?”

There must be, all of our information has to be in that! If she didn’t, if there isn’t a backup than all of our government secrets are in her head. 

"It crashed a week ago.” I look away, of course it did. I destroyed it well trying to take it. I destroyed any living back up of our government’s secrets. I’m screwed, so screwed. “Wait, wait. Wasn't I supposed to look at those pictures?”

Suddenly I allow my voice to go soft. “I may have to aim my gun at you, so just don’t freak out.”

Her face goes slack. “Why?” Her voice is tiny.

I take a couple of steps back and my eyes lock when I see JP walk in. He’s rubbing his eye. “It’s late, I’m tried…” He says. “Let’s cut the crap and you give her to me now. She belongs to the NCB.” I lower my hand to my back, ready to take out my gun. In one movement I take it and aim it at Carmilla. 

“The CIU gets her first!” I see JP aim his gun at me and my heart is pounding. “You come any closer and I shoot.” I warn

“Okay, Laura I’m freaking out!” She says, looking frightened. Oh god I can’t let her get hurt. She’s the only database we have left. She can’t get hurt, we can’t loose that information.

“You shoot her, I shoot you and leave both your bodies, then I’ll get a late night snack, maybe pancakes.” 

Suddenly Carmilla starts to run. “Carmilla no!”

She seems to stop, getting a far away look in her eyes. Suddenly she sputters out: “They’re going to kill him.” Both JP and I stop dead. What is she talking about? She faces us. I look over at JP. He doesn’t know that Carmilla opened the email and the moment he does, he might kill her. 

“Kill who?” JP speaks. 

“Stanfield the general. The general Stansfield.” JP and I share a look. "Look, something is wrong with me, okay? I don't know what it is, but something is very, very wrong with me. I'm remembering things I shouldn't know.”

I take a moment, alright this is something. “Okay, Carm, talk to me. Like what?”

“I don't know, I don't know. For example, there was, uh, there was a Serbian demolitions expert at the Large Mart today. That's kind of odd, wouldn't you say? Well, last week the NCB - you guys intercepted some blueprints, blueprints of a hotel. That hotel, and the CIU - you guys found a vial of schematics of a bomb in Prague. The bomb is in that hotel."

JP switches his gun from me to Carmilla which was my fear. I move mine to Casey. Carmilla is now important, I can’t kill her. 

“She was working with Danny.” JP mutters bitterly.

"No. She opened Danny's email. Carmilla, those pictures that you saw were encoded with secrets. Government secrets. If you saw them, then you know them."

"There were thousands of them.” Again her voice dips into something more fragile.

"Wait a minute. You're telling me ALL of our secrets are in her head.” JP says, moving the gun to point directly at her head. 

“She is the computer.”

“What did you say?” She sounds really surprised, “What does that mean?” She’s frantic. 

“You have to listen to me—“

“What is happening to me?!”

“You said there was a bomb; is there time to stop it?”

Easier things first, time to distract JP from killing Carmilla and into using her to find and take down this bomb. She looks at me, bewildered. 

“What? What? Wha - are you crazy?!”

Sort of. 

“We’re the good guys, we keep bombs from exploding.” JP says, hinting sarcasm. 

“Look I can’t - I can’t help you! I really wish I could but I can’t. Call Danny, she’s the girl that can save the day-“ There seems to be bitterness in her voice.

Before thinking I blurt: “Danny is dead!” I feel myself sinking into the knowledge. She looks shocked. “She died sending those secrets to you.”

"Yeah, and she's gonna have company unless you start talking. So, pretty please. Can we defuse the bomb now?” JP adds. 

She looks at me and I give her a small smile to urge her on. I need her to trust me. "According to the schedule, the general is already on the stage—"

*

Boy can they run! I mean holy crap. “Wait, JP, wait!” Laura places her hand on my chest. “We can’t take her, she’s too valuable.”

Suddenly JP is pushing me to the ground. “Okay but you tell us where to go!” His eyes meet mine.

" The easiest way?” I ask, searching my brain. 

“The fastest.” Laura corrects, looking at me a with desperate look.

“The fastest, got it.” Suddenly I’m running as if my brain gave way to a rush of power, I need to move to flash. I can’t just make it happen. They follow behind me.

“Carm, stop!” I launch myself through crowds of people. They’re still behind me. Suddenly I see the door. “Through there!” I say, pointing. I push open the door, both Laura and JP behind me. I’m looking around trying to spot something, something that will trigger a flash or a place that could hide a bomb. I see a tray on wheels and gulp.

I can’t get this wrong. “That’s it.” JP lifts the lid to the food tray on top but it only activates the bomb.

“Oh god.” Laura mutters. 

"No time to evacuate. Any ideas?” JP says.

"Disconnect the laptop?" Laura offers. 

"There's no trigger and no cables. 1:22.83 seconds and counting." JP says. 

"Definitely a trap."

I feel a tap on shoulder and turn to see a man in a suit. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Both JP and Laura flash their credentials. He backs off, motioning to a couple of people to back off as well.

"Carm, is there anything else you remember about the bomb?" Laura prods carefully. I look at them, trying to remember and then suddenly an idea comes into my head. 

JP stops me. "This ain't an Xbox-"

I shake my head. "I understand that. This is a Prism Express laptop. We sell these at our store. This has a DOS overwrite. I think I can do this. I can do this. Please."

I look to Laura quickly. "She's our best shot."

JP sighs. "Go." 

I begin to type away. "Mr. Bomb meet Miss Interent." I find the browser and type in : "Irene Demova."

"Is she searching porn?" JP says, surprised. 

I see the disgusted look on Laura's face and blush. Alright, I guess I know she won't be into that... Although it's likely we aren't--

Just as the bomb reaches 00:00.01 the Irene Demova virus takes effect and fries the laptop. I sigh in relief, happy I'm not dead. 

"You did it." Laura says kindly. 

I meet her eyes. "I did it. I did it. I, I defused a real bomb! I defused a real bomb! I defused a real bomb!" I stop, letting it sink in. "What if I was wrong?"

"Don't puke on the C-4." JP says before turning and going, motioning for Laura to follow. I breathe in and out for a few seconds before going to find them.

•

"She's coming with me!" JP and I yell at the same time. 

"What if this was just a fluke?" JP asks.

"And what if it wasn't? What if she can stop something--" I argue. 

"Fine! Drop her in a psych tank or something! She'll tell us what we wanna know."

I shake my head. "JP we don't know how this works, what triggers her memories. She'll crack wide open."

"Not my job. I break things. I don't fix them." I roll my eyes, groaning. 

"What about her job, her friends? What do we do about her sister?" I say. Carmilla may not be famous but her absence will still be noticed. 

"What about my sister?" We both turn to see her there. 

"We were just--"

"No, no, no, you listen. You have to leave my family and my friends out of this."

I'm about to assure her that we'll try but JP has to open his fat mouth. "We'll see."

"Look, Danny sent that email to me. I'm the one remembering all your secrets. Which means you have to listen to me. Both of you. And right now, I'm gonna go home."

As she turns JP grabs her sleeve, tugging her back. "No, you're not." He says. 

I groan, this isn't helping! Carmilla's life just got turned upside down! His threats will do shit! 

"You, you need me." She snaps, jerking out of grip and walking away.

•

I see her on the beach, taking off my shoes I walk to her. I'm surprised when she speaks. "How long have you been here?"

"A while."

"I can't run from this can I?" She asks, her face looks crestfallen. 

"Not from us." I admit. She turns back to stare at the water. I don't like her silence. She's an asset now. Someone I have to protect. "Talk to me please."

"Yesterday I was making 11 bucks an hour fixing computers. Now I have one in my brain, and I can't figure out why Danny did this, why she chose me. What are you gonna do with me? What happens now?"

"For now, you go back. To your job, to your family. We'll protect you and you'll help us. That is until we find something better, until we can get the data out of your head."

"My family and friends?"

"You tell them nothing, to keep them safe." She runs a hand through her hair, seemingly closing off even more.

"Fine."

"I need you to do one more thing for me." She scoffs. 

"Yeah?"

"Trust me Carm."


End file.
